Frequently Asked Questions About Circle of Trust® Retreats

Parker J. Palmer

What is a Circle of Trust retreat?

Circle of Trust retreats help us reconnect who we are with what we do so that we can approach our lives and work with renewed passion, commitment, and integrity.  They create a safe space for inner exploration and group sharing, and help participants open to new realizations and understandings of the questions and issues that are important to them. 

Within respectful guidelines to preserve confidentiality and protect each person's individual process, Circle of Trust retreats use poetry, personal stories, the arts, metaphors and processes in nature, time for solitude and reflection, deep listening and a non-judgmental inquiry process. 

Who is Parker Palmer?
 
Parker J. Palmer, the developer of the Circle of Trust approach and the founder of the Center for Courage & Renewal, is the author of nine books and has received numerous honors and awards for his work as a writer, speaker and activist on issues in education, community, leadership, spirituality and social change.  His books include Let Your Life Speak, The Courage to Teach, A Hidden Wholeness, and Healing the Heart of Democracy.  He holds a Ph.D. in Sociology from the University of California at Berkeley, and is a member of the Religious Society of Friends (Quaker).  You can find out more about him at the Center for Courage & Renewal website. 

Who is this for? 

Although this approach was initially created to help educators renew and sustain their work, programs offering Courage work are also available to leaders and others in health care, ministry, business, non-profit organizations, community leadership, and others looking to become more aware and authentic in their lives and work.  Circle of Trust retreats are offered by facilitators prepared by and associated with the Center for Courage & Renewal.  At LifePath, we offer these retreats and programs primarily to health care professionals, clergy, non-profit leaders and others involved in caring work.      

What are the principles of this work? 

"If we are willing to embrace the challenge of becoming whole, we cannot embrace it alone—at least, not for long: we need trustworthy relationships to sustain us, tenacious communities of support, to sustain the journey toward an undivided life. Taking an inner journey toward rejoining soul and role requires a rare but real form of community that I call a “circle of trust.”
                               —Parker J. Palmer, from A Hidden Wholeness (adapted)

With permission, we are glad to provide the principles and practices of this work in Parker Palmer's words from the Center for Courage & Renewal website. 

1. Everyone has an inner teacher: Every person has access to an inner source of truth, named in various wisdom traditions as identity, true self, heart, spirit or soul. The inner teacher is a source of guidance and strength that helps us find our way through life’s complexities and challenges. Circles of Trust give people a chance to listen to this source, learn from it and discover its imperatives for their work and their lives.
2. Inner work requires solitude and community: In Circles of Trust we make space for the solitude that allows us to learn from within, while supporting that solitude with the resources of community. Participants take an inner journey in community where we learn how to evoke and challenge each other without being judgmental, directive or invasive.
3. Inner work must be invitational: Circles of Trust are never “share or die” events, but times and places where people have the freedom within a purposeful process to learn and grow in their own way, on their own schedule and at their own level of need. From start to finish, this approach invites participation rather than insisting upon it because the inner teacher speaks by choice, not on command.
4. Our lives move in cycles like the seasons: By using metaphors drawn from the seasons to frame our exploration of the inner life, we create a hospitable space that allows people of diverse backgrounds and perspectives to engage in a respectful dialogue. These metaphors represent cycles of life—such as the alternation of darkness and light, death and new life—shared by everyone in a secular, pluralistic society regardless of philosophical, religious or spiritual differences.
5. An appreciation of paradox enriches our lives and helps us hold greater complexity: The journey we take in a Circle of Trust teaches us to approach the many polarities that come with being human as “both–ands” rather than “either–ors,” holding them in ways that open us to new insights and possibilities. We listen to the inner teacher and to the voices in the circle, letting our own insights and the wisdom that can emerge in conversation check and balance each other. We trust both our intellects and the knowledge that comes through our bodies, intuitions and emotions.
6. We live with greater integrity when we see ourselves whole: Integrity means integrating all that we are into our sense of self, embracing our shadows and limitations as well as our light and our gifts. As we deepen the congruence between our inner and outer lives we show up more fully in the key relationships and events of our lives, increasing our capacity to be authentic and courageous in life and work.
7. A ”hidden wholeness“ underlies our lives: Whatever brokenness we experience in ourselves and in the world, a “hidden wholeness” can be found just beneath the surface. The capacity to stand and act with integrity in the gap between what is and what could be or should be—resisting both the corrosive cynicism that comes from seeing only what is broken and the irrelevant idealism that comes from seeing only what is not—has been key to every life-giving movement and is among the fruits of the Circle of Trust approach.

---

What are the practices used in these retreats?

In this culture, we know how to create spaces that invite the intellect to show up, to argue its case, to make its point. We know how to create spaces that invite the emotions to show up, to express anger or joy. We know how to create spaces that invite the will to show up, to consolidate effort and energy round a common task. And we surely know how to create spaces that invite the ego to show up, preening itself and claiming its turf! But we seem to know very little about creating spaces that invite the soul to show up, this core of ourselves, our selfhood.
                                                    —Parker J. Palmer, A Hidden Wholeness

1. Creating spaces that are open and hospitable, but resource-rich and charged with expectancy: In a Circle of Trust, we are invited to slow down, listen and reflect in a quiet and focused space. At the same time, we engage in dialogue with others in the circle—a dialogue about things that matter. As this “sorting and sifting” goes on, and we are able to clarify and affirm our truth in the presence of others, that truth is more likely to overflow into our work and lives.
2. Committing to no fixing, advising, “saving” or correcting one another: Everything we do is guided by this simple rule, one that honors the primacy and integrity of the inner teacher. When we are free from external judgment, we are more likely to have an honest conversation with ourselves and learn to check and correct ourselves from within.
3. Asking honest, open questions to “hear each other into speech”: Instead of advising each other, we learn to listen deeply and ask questions that help others hear their own inner wisdom more clearly. As we learn to ask questions that are not advice in disguise, that have no other purpose than to help someone listen to the inner teacher, all of us learn and grow.
4. Exploring the intersection of the universal stories of human experience with the personal stories of our lives: Guided conversations focused on a poem, a teaching story, a piece of music or a work of art—drawn from diverse cultures and wisdom traditions—invite us to reflect on the “big questions” of our lives, allowing each person to intersect and explore them in his or her own way.
5. Using multiple modes of reflection so everyone can find his or her place and pace: In Circles of Trust, we speak and we listen. We explore important questions in large group conversation and dialogues in small groups. We make time for individual reflection and journaling. We respect nonverbal ways of learning, including music, movement and the arts. We honor the educative power of silence and the healing power of laughter. Together we weave a "tapestry of truth” with many and diverse threads, creating a pattern in which everyone can find a place that both affirms and stretches them.
6. Honoring confidentiality: Participants in Circles of Trust understand that nothing said in these circles will be revealed outside the circle and that things said by participants will not be pursued when a session ends, unless the speaker requests it.

What can I expect to come away with from a retreat following these guidelines and practices? 

Participants in a Circle of Trust return to their homes, workplaces and communities, taking two important resources with them:

1) Greater access to the inner teacher and a new depth of self-knowledge, often resulting in a clearer sense of guidance for their personal and professional lives and a resolve to live closer to their core commitments.

2) Principles and practices from the Circle of Trust approach that can be applied to their daily lives.

As a result of participating in Circles of Trust, people report:

• a stronger sense of purpose and integrity
• expanded capacity to be fully present to others in ways that affirm and heal
• increased skill in asking the honest, open questions that help others uncover their own inner wisdom
• greater confidence to seek or create communities of support
• increased understanding, appreciation and respect for human differences, based in deeper awareness of the identity and  integrity of ourselves and others
• greater capacity to build the relational trust that helps institutions pursue their missions
• more courage to live and lead authentically
• renewed passion for their work or vocation
• a deeper commitment to leadership and service to others

Where can I find out more about this? 

The easiest place to learn more about this work is through the online resources and the approach outlined on the Center for Courage & Renewal website.  For more about the Circle of Trust approach in theory and in practice, you can also read Parker Palmer's books.  I particularly recommend A Hidden Wholeness: The Journey Toward an Undivided Life (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2004).  

How did you get into this work? 

Over a decade ago, I was writing and thinking about how important it is to be who we really are and to follow what I call "the deepest truth you know" in daily life.  As I was pondering how this process works for individuals, I encountered Parker Palmer's work and his approach to cultivating deep insight and personal renewal in groups and in community.  His work resonated strongly with me, and I attended my first Circle of Trust retreat in the summer of 2011 with my wife, Laurin, who is a critical care physician.  At that retreat, I knew that this was work I wanted to offer to professionals and others bringing who they are and what they care about into their work and their lives.  More than 250 facilitators in the U.S., Canada, Australia and the United Kingdom do this work, and I'm grateful to be one of them.